It Cuts Both Ways
by Mitchi Takahashi
Summary: Nineteen year old Haruka is all alone once again after her fiance's Ryuu suicide. She doesn't know how to deal with the pressure of living by herself. Net even a day after Ryuu's death she gets an invitation to join the Uchiha family. Selfharm and sweas
1. You feel inside

**DISCLAIMER! I do NOT own Naruto or any of the characters. Though I do own Haruka I do not own any thing or anyone else.**

Chapter 1: You feel inside. You're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care. (1)

Wincing as she dragged the blade across her pale skin, mint eyes looked down at the stream of red escaping from her wrist. Purple petals lay around her, the only reminder of what had ended earlier that day as she frantically tried to dull herself to everything. He had given her that flower to mask the fact that he was about to do what he had done… and right in front of her. How much she longed for someone to be with her, to hold her, but she was alone now more then ever. He had stabbed himself through the heart with the very kunai she was using because he couldn't stand living with what he had seen.

Haruka looked at her tear stained face in the mirror briefly before wiping the edge of her kunai on the sheets. She let the blood flow just a little longer before grabbing the uniform she was required to wear for work. Her hands moved swiftly as she donned the cloth that covered her self treatment for the problems that plagued her every minute of her life. Haruka knew better then wiping her eyes on her sleeve so she settled for a small square of silk instead. Dropping it her pale green eyes watched it flutter to the dark floor before she donned the porcelain mask worn by her comrades and herself. One last glance around the room was all she allowed herself before turning and taking off into the cold and unforgiving night.

"Glad you joined us," said a silver haired man as he shifted his mask slightly. Haruka turned her gaze to him.

"Perhaps I should say I got lost on the road of life?" she said coldly. The man chuckled and slipped the book he had been reading into his pocket.

"I suppose you could, now shall we be going?" he asked.

"Very well Kakashi-kun," she said. She ghosted her hand over the armored sleeve that covered her self-inflicted wound before jumping into the trees to follow the man who lead her team. _Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away. _(2)_ Those wounds lead to these shallow ones that express the pain you're in. _That thought was the one truth that would echo through her mind for so long.

"We're going to be meeting up with Uchiha's squad for this mission. Please keep your mouth shut around him, Haruka. I don't want you to get hurt," Kakashi said as they made their way to the gate of the village.

"You mean more then I have been already?" was the quiet reply. Kakashi smiled weakly at her over his shoulder, the expression was unseen through the mask but Haruka had known Kakashi long enough to know what he had done.

"Here already?" joked a red-headed officer as the pair landed nimbly in front of them. Kakashi shrugged and resumed his normal slouch while Haruka stood with her feet the width of her shoulders with one hand on her hip. A slight wind blew making her pale blonde hair flow around her, flashes of her natural reddish streaks drew the attention of some of the people in the group before her hair settled.

"You're late," said a cold voice as a man with his black hair pulled back into a ponytail looked towards the two.

"Sorry about that, we were delayed," Kakashi said tilting his head up and shrugged slightly.

"Whatever, let's just get going so we aren't even later," Uchiha said. Haruka noticed that he was just about her shoulder height; that meant he must have been around 5' 5" at least. Not too bad for a fourteen year old.

Haruka just looked down at the boy; if he really was fourteen then she was about eight years older then him. She felt her right eye twitch slightly before she dropped her hand from her hip. Kakashi shot a warning glance at her. Shooting back a dirty glare Haruka literally bit her tongue to keep from smart mouthing the boy. He was lucky that Kakashi was there to keep a reign on her. "Let's go," Kakashi said at last bringing all eyes towards him. Together in one motion the group jumped into the trees lining the moon lit path.

The mission didn't even challenge the group as they ghosted past guards and civilians. The person they had been sent to eliminate died without even realizing that someone was in the room. No one had even noticed until the assassins were off the premises as well.

"You completed the mission already?" Sarutobi asked as he looked at the seven ANBU in front of him.

"With out a problem sir, the security was lax," Itachi said with a slight bow. The Hokage nodded his head.

"Very well then, you are dismissed. Kakashi, Haruka please stay here for a moment though." The three members of Uchiha's squad left.

"Yes my Lord Hokage?" Kakashi said tilting his head slightly. Both members already knew what the subject for the sudden meeting was though.

"I am sorry for your loss earlier today, but your team needs another member. It is one of the codes," the Third said tilting his head down in a serious manner. The two nodded at him as Haruka looked above his head. "I am assigning you a woman named Kiku. She was recently accepted into the ranks and your team presented her with an opportunity." Sarutobi waved his hand and an ANBU member wearing a rabbit mask opened the door and waved his hand.

A girl walked in shyly grabbing her thin arm with one hand. Her short blue hair stuck out in strange spikes that framed her face and drew attention away from the flatness of her chest. Her eyes had to be the prettiest thing about her though. They were a soft green with streaks of chocolate brown and a slight tint of baby blue. Full lips were tinted with light pink lip paint and her eyes were outlined in kohl. She smiled shakily and bowed.

Kakashi and Haruka exchanged looks before nodding to the girl. "Has she received a uniform yet?" Kakashi asked the Hokage.

"No, I was hoping you could help her get one, though she might feel more comfortable with Haruka."

"No she won't," Haruka said rolling her eyes. Sarutobi flashed a smile.

_She's such a strange girl, she's going to over whelm what ever poor bloke takes a liking to her now, _Kakashi thought with a small smirk.

"How did I get stuck doing this again?" Haruka said as she signed off on a paper to get a uniform for the new girl.

"Um, arigato. I don't think I could have worked up the courage if I had come alone," Kiku said hanging her head. Haruka looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Why are you an ANBU? You aren't very confident so how do you expect to be able to deal with the missions?" Haruka said.

"It's not that I'm not confident, I just don't do well on my own. That is why I insisted on being placed in a team," the girl said.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," Kiku said with a bob of her head.

"I'm nineteen," Haruka said as she held out her hand for the uniform and mask that were given to her. She passed them onto Kiku. "Go change, the bathroom is over there," she pointed at an open door. Kiku bowed and rushed into the room her feet making scuffing sounds as she moved.

"Are you sure she's an ANBU?" asked the guy behind the counter.

"Lord Hokage recruited her, I trust his judgment. We'll just have to see if she's cut out for this line of work," Haruka said looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He shrugged at her and rested his elbows on the counter.

"So what's her story?" he asked.

"Don't know yet, I'll try and get it out of her later." The door creaked open and Kiku stepped out in her uniform. The mask was perfectly set on her face and she was rubbing the armor plate on her left fore arm. "You look good," Haruka lied. To tell the truth, the girl looked anorexic and her hair didn't go well with the gray and tan of the outfit.

"Arigato, um, so what now?" she asked shifting her weight to the other foot.

"We go home," Haruka pushed a lock of her blonde hair away from her masked face, "We have to get to bed soon. Meet the team at the training grounds in the woods; you know the one by the forest where the genin go a lot. Since we haven't met you before we wanna see what you can do. Be there by nine in the morning," Haruka raised her hand in a wave and turned to leave.

"Could you walk me home?" Kiku burst out suddenly. Haruka pursed her lips glad that the porcelain hid her facial expressions.

"Fine," Haruka said and she motioned for Kiku to lead the way.

……

"My god that girl can talk," was the statement that Haruka threw out to her empty room as she closed the door to her apartment. She was greeted with a depressing silence. "I'm home Ryuu," she said as she pulled off her mask and dropped it onto the night stand. A tear escaped her eye and she wiped it away impatiently. "Today was rather boring," she whispered as she started to strip off her uniform. She was done to nothing but her panties when a knock sounded at her door. "Damnit," she said to the empty room. Grabbing her silk bathrobe she quickly wrapped the black fabric around her before answering the door.

"What is it?" she asked without bothering to check who was there. Itachi Uchiha stood in front of her with slightly widened eyes. Haruka raised an eyebrow and pulled the robe closed more over her chest, no need to excite a young boy.

"I was sent here to give this to you," he held out a small envelop, "It's from my father." Haruka looked confused for a moment before hesitantly reaching her hand out and taking it.

"Arigato, I guess," she said. Seemingly out of no where she withdrew a 1000 yen bill and pressed it into his hand, "For bothering to give it to me. You have no idea how many letters I find just slid under my door when they should have been given to me by hand." Before the boy could protest she bid him goodbye and started to shut the door.

"Arigato," Itachi said in defeat, bidding her a good night as well.

Haruka made sure that the Uchiha was gone before slitting the small envelop open with her sharp nail. Light glistened off the black polish it the sound off paper being slit filled the completely silent room.

_Miss. Amaterasu,_

_I would be honored if you would grace us with your presence during the next full moon for a dinner. Please consider our offer; it would be a great pleasure to have you join our table._

_Uchiha Fugaku_

"For some reason I feel that he hopes to add me as a permanent member of the family table," Haruka whispered, "It's probably no coincidence that this letter didn't come before my fiancé's death also," She sighed and skimmed over the paper again, "The full moon… that's in two days, the bastard." The bathrobe dropped to the ground and Haruka resumed the process of slipping on her nightgown.

Chirping of birds caused Haruka's eyes to shoot open. Sunlight fell in a small shaft across her bed. She glanced at the clock beside her head, 6:58. Only about two hours before she had to show up at the training grounds. Groggily she slipped out from under her covers.

Sizzling filled the miserable apartment as Haruka stood watching a pan of bacon cook. "What do you want for breakfast Ryuu?" Haruka called over her shoulder absent mined. There was no response as she slowly reminded herself to stop searching for him. Flipping off the burner Haruka grabbed the handle of the pan and dumped its contents onto a small plate. Hissing as the metal scorched her skin she dropped it back down and grabbed the plate with her now injured hand.

Tears escaped her eyes slowly as the heart broken woman shoveled food into her mouth greedily. "Damn it," was the whispered words as a pale hand roughly swiped at the horrid signs of emotion. _Gods damn you, Ryuu. Why did you have to leave me like that? I hate you, I hate you… _Jade eyes snapped open as arms wrapped around Haruka.

"Shhhhhhh," said a strong voice in Haruka's ear as grabbed the familiar arms and buried her face in the crook of Kakashi's elbow. "I know, I know, we all miss him. Just let it out," the copy-nin whispered as he felt her tears start to seep through his shirt. He gave her a soft squeeze before pulling his arms away and sitting down next to her.

"Thanks," Haruka said as she wiped impatiently at her eyes, "Though next time you could try knocking." Kakashi chuckled and smiled through the mask he wore.

"So I heard that you got an invite for dinner," Kakashi said. Haruka stood up swiftly knocking her chair backwards. Grabbing her plate she marched over to the sink without even trying to bother the evidence of her frustration.

"Not even a day after Ryuu's death and I'm already being sent an invite from the Uchiha's to join their table. No doubt their going to try and get me into an arranged marriage with a boy who's so green that he blends in with the forest!" she said disgusted as she washed the remnants of her eggs down the drain.

"I figured as much," Kakashi stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about this, personally I'm surprised the Uchiha's made their move so soon. Normally they're the ones with pride and honor."

"No doubt they didn't want me getting attached to anyone else before they could get me caught in a contract," Haruka said with a sarcastic smile. Kakashi shrugged.

"We better get to the training grounds soon, or we'll be late," Kakashi said.

"Screw being on time, I wanna visit Obito's memorial with you this time. He was my friend as well," Haruka said defiance in her every fiber. Kakashi nodded solemnly.

"Get changed first, we're supposed to show up in uniform, remember?" Kakashi said tilting his head slightly. Haruka noticed for the first time that he was indeed in full uniform. His cat mask was angled over his right eye exposing his left eye and his… mask.

Haruka sighed and walked to her room. She slammed the door hard enough to make it crack slightly and soon reemerged in full uniform with her tiger mask held in her hand. "Let's get going, shall we?" she asked rhetorically as she grabbed a handful of small flowers out of a vase as she walked past it. Kakashi nodded at her and together they set off out of the window.

"Hello, Obito," Kakashi said kneeling in front of a large black stone.

"Hello, Obito-kun. I've come to visit. Sorry that's been so long," Haruka said laying the small white flowers in front of the large stone. She smiled weakly as she ran her fingers across the engraved name, it was one among so many others. "I wish you were here. Your smile used to be able to brighten my day no matter what was going on. Gods only know how much I need something to brighten my day lately." Closing her eyes Haruka slowly sank to her knees, tears threatening to spill out. "Why does everyone always leave, Obito? Why doesn't anyone bother to stick around for people who need them? People like me. I miss you," she took a ragged breath," so… so… much."

Arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders once again as the tears she had been fighting back started to silently stream down her checks. "Don't worry, Haruka. No matter what happens, I promise I won't leave you. Never ever. You got that?" He looked into Haruka's now open eyes. She nodded slowly, "Good. Don't forget that I'm always here for you, ok?" They locked middle fingers together firmly.

"It's a promise," Haruka confirmed. Kakashi smiled at her kindly and wiped away a tear that was making its way down towards her chin.

"Let's get going," Kakashi offered Haruka a hand up. Once they were both standing they placed their masks on the faces properly and disappeared towards the forest.

**From the song Hold On by Good Charlotte**

**From the son Easier To Run by Linkin Park**

**It Cuts Both Ways (the title) some random title of a song I was listening to. Heh.**

**A/N: If you haven't, for some reason, figured it out yet, this story takes place before the Uchiha massacre! BEFORE! In other words, Itachi is still an ANBU captain, the Uchiha family estate is full to the rim with people, and Sasuke and Naruto are about seven or eight. And sadly, Sasuke is needed in this story (damn it, I hate the friken kid). At least he's not emo, YET. Well, see you all next chapter!**

**Stay SMEXY!**

**Mitchi**


	2. Idiots Seem To Follow Me

**Sorry this took so long to get out! I've been working on a lot of other things, in fact my house was just recently torn down and rebuilt for the ground up! Not a fun or cheap thing to try and work through! So in order to make up for my lateness Itook a fewo fthe boring parts out and attempted to move the story onto the next part faster then I was planning on origionaly. Trying to draw it out to the fourth chapter seemed to much like filler episodes in the first part of the story anyways. Can anyone say boring? Oh well, I'll stop ranting so you cna get on with reading the story now!**

**Mitchi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, except for the fur I have made up so far. Though their talents are also from the creator of Naruto. I am not making any profit from this nor an I doing this for an organization. This is purly for fun and entertainment. So please enjoy!**

Kiku was waiting for them as Haruka and Kakashi stepped into the opening. "You're early," Kakashi said shortly. The girl ducked her head and her blue hair fell in front of her eyes.

"No, we're late," Haruka said when it became apparent the girl wasn't going to say anything. She shot a glance at Kakashi.

_Now's as good a time as ever to get her used to my lies, _Kakashi spoke up, "Sorry, I stopped to help an old lady on the side of the road. And after that a black cat crossed our path so we were forced to find another road, heh."

"Oh that's no problem!" Kiku said smiling shyly. "It's good that you're cautious about black cats, something bad could have happened!" She blushed slightly, "Though I must say, it doesn't look like there is much that could hurt you two; you're both so very strong!" Haruka stared at her in disbelief and Kakashi… well, he was laughing so hard that he felt like his stomach was about to split. "Did I say something wrong?" Kiku said worriedly bringing her fingers up to the edge of her mouth.

"No, no, you didn't say anything wrong!" Kakashi said pushing his hands in front of his chest as if to ward away more laughter. "We just weren't expecting that type of response!" He giggled a slight bit more.

Haruka snapped her jaw shut with a slight click and nudged Kakashi in the ribs. He stopped laughing and regained his composure. "Well, moving on. Kiku, what are your skills?" Haruka asked pushing her hair from her shoulder.

"I really don't have any skills besides cooking. I passed the jounin exam on a fluke," she ducked her head again. "I don't even know how I became an ANBU to tell the truth, nor do I have an idea as to why I've been assigned to your team!"

"Ok; well then why don't you show us some jutsus and basic taijutsu?" Kakashi suggested.

"I'll try," Kiku responded and took a fighting stance. _Perfect form, so far so good, _Haruka observed looking at the girl's thin limbs. Then something amazing happened. Kiku brought her right leg up and kicked out perfectly, until she went to bring it back down. She had used to much force. Off balanced Kiku flailed her arms about as her left leg flew upwards and her ass collided with the ground. "Ow!" she said as she lay still. Mud seeped into her blue hair, "I think I hurt my ankle," she groaned turning on her side. Kakashi and Haruka rushed forward and helped her to sit up.

"Mind if I take a look?" Haruka asked. Before Kiku responded she had pulled off the shinobi boot and was inspecting her ankle. "It looks like you twisted it. You should stay off of it for the rest of the day. Kakashi, help her get home will you?" Kakashi nodded and picked the girl up bridal style. The blue-haired girl blushed and avoided making contact with his chest. There was a slight breeze as Kakashi jumped into the trees as Haruka watched them leave.

"May I speak, Hokage?" Haruka bowed her head as she knelt in front of the large desk the Third sat behind.

"What is it, Haruka?" Sarutobi asked resting his elbows on the desk.

"Sorry I'm late!" Kakashi said out of breath as he knelt beside Haruka, "A black cat crossed my path and-"

"We know the story, by now Kakashi," Haruka interrupted. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and smiled. He smiled back and bowed his head.

"We are here to discuss our new member, Kiku. We suggest that she be placed with a different team; she will only weigh us down." Haruka said looking up. Kakashi nodded in agreement. "I am sure you had reason for placing her in our squad, but we do not feel that she is qualified for the type of missions we are given."

"I understand your feelings; in fact I agree that she should be placed in a completely different team. She is at the gennin level of skill." The two started, "However, she is a jinchuriki. And an unstable one at that." Sarutobi tapped his finger tips together as he rested his elbows on the desk.

"I was unaware of the fact that the Village contained two jinchuriki, Hokage. However, I still do not believe that she is fit for the missions we are given. Her skills are minimal as you stated, and her logical skills are possibly even worse then that. There is no place for her in our team," Haruka said her eyes ablaze. Kakashi shot a warning glance at her. She narrowed her eyes and pressed, "I strongly suggest that you reconsider before she gets killed. She can't even walk in a straight line half the time, how do you expect her to be able to sneak past other ANBU let alone a foreign gennin?!" The old man held his hand up and Haruka silenced.

"I understand what you are saying Haruka, which is why I am taking you off the team. You are now being assigned as a jounin sensei to three of the new graduates of the academy. Their names are Aoi, a specialist in genjutsu, Dosu who is a specialist in Ninjutsu and has exceptional skills in taijutsu, and another girl who reminds me of you. Her name is Mi, her skills lie within her blood. She has a strange doujitsu that no one seems to be able to find the origin of, such as yours is. She was abandoned by an unknown mother at the age of two and her main fighting style seems to be quite similar to your actually. You have your work cut out for you, dismissed." Sarutobi turned his chair to the side and smiled. "Try not destroying anything that you might need later," he advised.

"Hokage, you can not take me out of this team and assign me to such a rookie group! At least you could assign me to lead a group of chunin!" Haruka said standing up and throwing her arm to the side. Sarutobi lifted a few fingers from his cheek.

"Well, if this does not work out, then I will consider it. Until then you have your orders. Good luck; and Kakashi. I have a new team mate to fill the gap in your numbers." Kakashi nodded his head and Haruka stomped out of the room punching anything she could reach. "She's a lot like Tsunade was in her younger days, don't you agree?" Kakashi chuckled.

"She's more violent then Tsunade-san was ever," he said with a smiled as he rubbed the back of his head. Sarutobi laughed into his folded hands and nodded.

"Indeed, indeed."

oOo

"Iru-kun, I'm here to talk to you about the students I am assigned to handle. I need the basic information on them and anything else you think worth mentioning," Haruka said with a frown as she sat down on the edge of her old friend's desk.

"It's nice to see you too Haru-chan," Iruka said as he shuffled a few papers and placed them in a folder. "Let's see, as I recall you were assigned to Aoi Kimimoto, Dosu Takashi, and Mi Kitsubaki, correct?" He grabbed a few folders from a bookcase behind them and handed them over. "These are their files, including their grades, work ethics and disciplinary sheets. Might I say that you got quite the group! Mi is known for her short temper and violent outbursts. Aoi for her pranks, most of them was including genjutsu of some sort. And Dosu for his constant annoyance, the boy never shuts up and never calms down. I swear that they're worse then when the Sennin were all here." Haruka looked up with a single raised eyebrow.

"Now why was I given this group? Sarutobi-san knows me, I beat people up for looking at me the wrong way," Haruka said biting her lower lip. Iruka grinned uneasily.

"Maybe he thinks that they could use some discipline beyond what the normal actions I can take?" Iruka laughed, "Whatever the reason it was a good one. So try and make the best of it alright?"

Haruka looked at him out of the corner of her eye, "Or he just likes screwing with me." She smiled falsely and walked from the room with a wave of her hand. Iruka returned it and then smiled.

_It's been almost ten years since I met her. It's really surprising to remember that she's older then me by a year and yet she still graduated almost six years ahead of me. She's twenty one now and I'm twenty. I'm a teacher, and she's an ANBU known for her quick and clean jobs. It's amazing the difference blood can make. _Iruka thought as his comrade's footsteps faded for hearing. He shook his head and went back to work.

……………….. Outside the window……………………..

"Hear that guys, we have a sensei that's willing to take us. Boy are we going to have fun with this one!" a girl said the two crouching on either side of her. She looked up through her blonde bangs with mint colored eyes, "Yes, we're definitely having fun this time." The boy to her right started laughing causing his silver hair to fall in front of his eyes. The girl on the left just frowned, her hands folded together.

"But Boss, what about her bein' a ANBU and all. She's a probably able to dispel any jutsu of min'," Her accent bleed through her carelessly pronounced Japanese. "I dun know much but mind tricking," she continued.

"Don't worry Aoi-chan; we'll deal with that if the time comes. For now I have to figure out why Iruka-sensei said that I was almost exactly like this woman," Mi said with a slight frown. The strawberry blonde in her hair shone as a breeze rushed past.

"Maybe it has something to do with your past?" suggested Dosu.

"Shush up 'bout that now! Ya' know Boss doesn't like us a'talking 'bout her past and all!" Aoi said with a blush. Dosu just glared at her.

"Oh will you both shut up! Seriously, you act like children. Dosu-kun, follow that chick. Aoi, your job is to stake out her apartment. I'll do some information diving in Sarutobi-dobe's desk. Got it? Move out!" The two disappeared and Mi stood up straight. Her knee length hair spread out behind her as her mint eyes changed to purple, "_Let's get spying._" She laughed her voice sounding almost hollow.


End file.
